MY car!

Alright so my last post was about how I totaled my car like an idiot – so this one is going to be about how I got my new car and what a fricken disaster that was ….

Alright so like I said, I had been thinking about leasing a new car for the last few weeks so of course I had some cars in mind .. I looked at the dodge dart the day before my accident and was told they had a terrible leasing program so that was out. I really was thinking about the Honda Civic and the Chevy Cruze since they’re nice, safe, and reasonably priced.

So my parents have no idea about leasing cars but fortunately my boyfriend and his parents do. So literally 3 hours after my accident, Peter and I were out looking at car .. because I work two jobs and am in school, I needed a car ASAP and had off the following day before my 6-day work week started. So we started at Honda because Chevy had a deal on the Cruze so we figured we’d see what Honda had to offer first.

They started at $290 a month ($0 down) for the 2016 Honda Civic EX (which has the sunroof, the key-less automatic start, touch screen and digital display, et al.) and we got them down to $265 a month with $500 down. Then we went to Chevy and got offered $211 a month with $500 down but I test drove both cars and liked the Honda Civic much much better. So we go back to Honda and she’s like “what can I do to get you out of here with a Civic today?” We said $225 would be ideal and she met us at $235 a month. So I was very upfront and honest about my credit history and score, since I’m all on my own and wanted realistic numbers to compare, and they said “95% chance you’ll get approved, don’t worry about it, we’re going to get you this car.” So I filled out the credit app, but the $500 down as a deposit, and left with the intention of coming back in the morning and getting my beautiful new car.

WELL – we get there and they tell me I was denied. So of course (especially after the last day of emotions) I start hysterically crying because they told me I would be fine, even when I was honest. And I literally have no family member who could cosign so I was just crying and so sad.

Peter has an amazing credit score but I would never ever ask him to do that…because A. I don’t want to feel the rejection of him saying no and B. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on him. A few years ago when I was first talking to him about it, his parents told him “Do not, 100% DO NOT cosign for her” because we hadn’t been dating that long and they worked hard to help get him where he’s at .. and I honestly don’t blame them for that because if it were my son I would’ve said the same thing .. so based on that I didn’t even want to ask him .. but when he left the room to call his dad the financing guy said if Peter did cosign, he would have to be on my insurance policy anyway so I knew that was out of the question then.

After sitting there trying to get it financed, and getting denied again, Peter asked what he would have to do. His parents gave their approval and as long as he was willing to make that commitment they said “we love her, so as long as you feel OK doing that – make her happy” and the finance guy felt so bad seeing me cry he was like “I’ll do anything I can to push it through where he doesn’t have to go on your insurance because if I have to see you cry one more time, I might start crying.” which was nice..especially cuz I’m pretty sure I was ugly crying at that point…


I seriously never thought I’d be driving a brand new car … at least not now. I worked really hard to save money and work really hard every day so it was so rewarding that it finally paid off. My beautiful black 2016 Honda Civic EX is f*cking AMAZING and I love it. Just seeing it still is like “OMG I can’t believe that’s MY car.” So cool.

So super huge shout out to my amazing boyfriend for saving the day. I love him and the fact that he was willing to do that says A LOT and I couldn’t be happier

Still hate work though.


Worst Week EVER

So this is basically going to be a venting session about the worst week of my entire life so far, and I don’t even think I’m exaggerating when I say that.

Sunday I had to work against my will but whatever. I told work I couldn’t do Sundays because I have two ridiculously hard classes on Mondays with an extremely difficult professor, but it’s spring so it doesn’t really matter because you can’t request any time off – especially a weekend day. I had my midterm in one of the hardest courses I’ve ever taken last Monday, so I was extra pissed I had to work that day.

Monday comes and the midterm goes alright. I thought I had bombed the test the week before and I got a 94 so hopefully I did ok but it sucked anyway.  Then Tuesday I found out I was being put on for both weekend days, so I got upset with my boss (who’s also one of my best friends now) and needed to talk to the store owner the next day. The conversation went alright. It resulted with me having to work weekends now and being off Fridays instead. That was alright but I get off work and get into a fight with my best friend.

She’s kind of my ex best friend at this point but after a couple hours of going back and fourth we agreed to work on it…again. I could write a whole book on that alone so I won’t go into it anymore right now. Anyway Thursday comes and it wasn’t a bad day. I get done at 3 on Thursdays and my boyfriend was off so we had a nice evening. We ran a couple errands and did some shopping when we decided to go look into some cars.

I drive my grandma’s old car (it’s a 2002 Hyundai Elantra [with 46,000 miles on it]) so I’ve been thinking about getting a new one. I was interested in leasing cuz my bf does it and idk .. if I’m gonna be paying monthly payments anyway, I might as well get a new one every three years. So that evening we went to ask about a dodge dart; we just wanted to get some information because I didn’t plan on doing it until December when I graduate. The dealer told us that it’s $429 a month to for a “brand new” 2015 Dodge Dart – we were like are you kidding me? That’s INSANE! So we left and went out with a few friends for the night.

The next day I had work 9:30 – 6. I usually take my break around 1:30 but that day I decided to have breakfast. I clocked out for lunch at 3:05 and went to grab a slice of pizza from the pizza place literally 5 maybe 6 blocks away .. I made it two blocks .. and I totaled my car.

It was completely my fault too. I couldn’t fu*king believe what happened – it was awful. It was my first accident too so I was especially freaked out. Fortunately I walked away pretty much uninjured (besides hitting my head and knees … cuz I didn’t have a seatbelt on … like an idiot since I thought I was only going 5 blocks it was no big deal) but my car, my gram’s car, was done. That sucked. But it would’ve been at least $5,000 to fix the engine and the transmission soOooo eff that.

Anyway, obviously I needed a car ASAP, so legit three hours after the accident I went looking at dealerships- and man was THAT a disaster in itself – so that’s a whole other story for another day.

I just can’t believe that for the last two weeks I’ve been looking into a car and then this. I went into a dealership to talk about a new car the fricken dayyyy beforeeee!!!! Are you kidding me?! This is my life….

Hopefully this week is better but with my luck lately, idk.

Wait –

or ‘Weight -” no pun intended (; – I’d just like to clear something up from my last post…

I know body image can be a touchy subject and I reallllyyy hope I didn’t offend anyone with my use of the word fat. I didn’t mean to, so if I did I just wanted to apologize.

I’m just a little bigger than I used to be and that’s OK because you don’t have to be skinny to be beautiful -that’s really important to me. It’s not that I don’t feel beautiful, I still do, I just feel like I’m getting to a point that isn’t even healthy (especially since I’m almost 25) and that was the biggest point of my last post about my weight gain.

I was kinda rushing to get it done so I may have come off like a little bit of an as*hole so I just wanted to clear that up. The media and our society put a lot of pressure on us girls to be thin to be beautiful and I do not agree. Would I feel better about myself? Yeah (and honestly, who wouldn’t) but that is not what it is all about.

Love yourself. Be proud of yourself. Strive to be the best you you can be.

“To me, beauty isn’t about being comfortable in your own skin, it’s about knowing and accepting who you are” – Ellen Degeneres


FIRST: Update on the phone situation – my boyfriend switched over to the iPhone and I was ecstatic… HA HA HA HA HA HA

Now, on to tonight’s blog –

Lately I just feel so…… fat. I know I’m not that overweight, but last year I gained twenty pounds and I’m still having a hard time admitting that to myself. I mean it was 100000% my own fault because A. I eat like sh*t and B. I don’t exercise. I wish I did, which means I should be, but I don’t because I’m lazy and have zero motivation. I knowww I know I could sit here and give a million excuses, but the reality is I work two jobs and am in school full time so on the little bit of down time that I have (which does’t include laundry & cleaning) the lastttt thing I want to be doing is exercising. FOR EXAMPLE – over the weekend I worked all day (both days .. even Easter) and when I got home I ate dinner, did some homework, and then through the night ate salt & vinegar chips, ice cream, Easter candy, Trader Joe’s Partially Popped Popcorn (AMAZING) .. but LIKE AM I KIDDING?! No wonder I gained twenty freaking pounds.

Anyway, if you knew what I looked like you’d be like “this effing b*tch, is she kidding me?!” or you might not, you might think I’m huge, BUT regardless..bottom line..I’m not happy with the way I look so it’s time to do something. Like I just tried on bathing suits for the first time since last year and was MORTIFIED (I still bought some though) because I was always pretty confident, but this time I was not.

I have no clue about the first thing about fitness or working out or eating right so last night I researched a bunchhh of different things. Beginner workouts, diet plans, meal plans, how to get into running, etc. and I made a huge spreadsheet of what to do and what to eat each day. I printed two copies and plan on hanging one on my bathroom mirror and one next to my couch…that way when I’m being super lazy and sitting there watching Arrested Development for the sixth time, maybe I’ll get off my ass and do one of those workouts.

SO I’ll let you know how it goes next time. So far today I ate a peanut butter & oats bar, string beans, a salad, soup, and a coffee (with no creamer). I fully plan on doing one of those beginner workouts when I get home but I’m about to go give my brother a ride to God knows where ..but I gotta think about those bikinis I just bought. Maybe I should post a few pics of those around my room too…..


Team iPhone!

Can I tell you how ridiculous I feel after the stress I put myself under for OVER A WEEK over a stupid cell phone?!

SO I’ve been an iPhone user since I got my first smart phone (unless Sidekicks count as a smart phone, in that case my second) exceptttt for that time I had a Galaxy 3 in 2012 for a few months .. then got really drunk and lost it I MEAN it got stolen …….. anyway ……… I went back to iPhone after that and vowed to NEVER get another galaxy EVER again.

Fast forward to last Thursday night. My boyfriend, Peter, gets his Galaxy s7 Edge in the mail the night before it’s released in stores and I immediately loved it; the screen was SO big and clear, the curve of it looked awesome too, 4K resolution with a ridiculously clear camera, and pretty cool features that my iPhone 5C didn’t have. I was trying to wait for the iPhone 7 to come out this fall but when I saw this I decided I wanted it.

The next day, I LEFT WORK to go get the phone, that’s how excited I was. I got to AT&T and when Catherine (the woman helping me) brought me the Galaxy I felt a hint of regret already. I just felt like I was being a traitor and making a bad decision by getting the Galaxy. But I went through with it and left.

When I told my brother, my mom, Peter’s mom, and my three best friends they all reacted the same way – “Are you serious?! Why would you do that?! You said you’d never do that again!!” and they were right. But I was excited for something new so I ignored them and continued to set up my new phone.

That night i was on the phone with my friend and it kept dropping the call. THEN it starts glitching and bugging out and opening windows I was not touching. I blamed it on the case and took it off for a while. But for the next few days it would randomly start bugging out. Peter tried to convince me it was just the new software and there would be a new update, but my gut was telling me go back to iPhone. I have a MacBook so it just makes sense.

I gave it a few more days and eventually did go back and got the iPhone 6S+. I love it and feel so much better now but I’m pretty annoyed about how freaking stressed I was over a phone. Like seriously?!?! But my phone has become such an important part of my life (ridiculous but true) that I was SO worried about if I would be happy with it. I mean I’m stuck with it for two years now so it better be good.

I’m happy now though. I got my iPhone and I’m goooood.


I saw a meme the other day that said something like “My life is like Rihanna’s new song. All I do is work work work work work work and the rest of the time I have no idea wtf is going on” and I actually lol’d cuz that’s basically my life right now.

I am so consumed with work right now that it’s actually annoying. I don’t mind having work to do and going to school but with the busy season at my jobS right now I cannot deal! I’ve worked at a garden center in Farmingdale since I was 15 years old so this will be my tenth year. I’ve worked my way up in the family owned business, especially because I started working there full time when I was 20, but with that came a lot of responsibilities that are always extra stressful during the spring time

We make more than 60% of our annual income between April and June so those three months are insane and the preparation for those three months is insane too. This year has been even more stressful because now I’m working at their sister company – a multimillion dollar horticultural warehouse run with an office of 9 people, including me who’s only there two days a week and my boss, V, who’s only there one day a week. I already regret doing this but I make a little more money there and the people are cool so I don’t reallyy mind going, it’s just annoying.

On top of it I had the flu last week so I ended up missing four days which put me even more behind on my piles and piles of work. It’s alright though because I was able to work this weekend to (try to) catch up. I still didn’t finish of course but I’m working tomorrow now too since I don’t have school.

Work sucks but it is what it is. I’m just glad I work with such awesome people to make it that much easier. I probably won’t be working there much longer (hopefully) so it’s weird to think of that after being there for so long .. but at the same time I can’t wait to move on. Especially right now because today was awful and sometimes it really sucks. I just needed to vent about that.

That’s all.

Kitty <3

I’m already a crazy cat lady and would have a bunch of cats if I could .. but I only have two now, I used to have three. My cat named Kitty passed away 5 years ago from the other day so I had been thinking about her and her story….

Kitty was my first pet; like my family had had pets before, but Kitty was mine. I always wanted a cat or a dog but my Grandma (who we lived with) never allowed it. When I was about 16, my best friend Amanda’s cat had kittens and I decided I was going to sneak one in and keep it. I picked Kitty because she had four colors on her – black, gray, white, and orange – and her tail was striped black and grey with the tip of it white and it was so cute I had to have her.

So one day after sleeping over Amanda’s, I got picked up by my friend and went to Walmart to get all the necessary supplies. I had a litter box, food, bowls, toys, everything .. and Kitty! So my friend dropped me off down the block from my house and I snuck Kitty inside my pocket book into my house. I dropped the supplies on the side of my house in some bushes and ran in my room as quick as I could. Just a few minutes later of coursee my Grandma starts knocking on the door. So I open it nonchalantly and right on cue Kitty starts crying!

My gram goes “that better not be what I think it is” and I grabbed Kitty and held her in her face and said “how can you not love her?” and as much as she hated her, gram loved her and they were the best of friends. Kitty was always sitting on the couch with my Grandma, they were so cute. They actually passed away a few days apart, oddly enough, so I ‘d like to hope they’re together but bottom line, I knew she would love her and let me keep her.

But anyway – back to Kitty. Kitty was an indoor/outdoor cat that I had for two years, when on November 9th, 2009, my dad brought home a surprise..a new kitten. He was just a baby cat my dad found alone in Brooklyn so he brought him home to take care of. Bean was so cute waiting for me on my bed but after a little while, I noticed Kitty wasn’t around. I figured she was mad at me because there was a new cat that was getting my attention now. Well a day goes by and still no sign of Kitty, I start to get nervous because she would always come home at night and during the day to eat, always.

A few days go by and I put up signs around the neighborhood. I was heart broken. I felt so guilty for getting the other cat because I was convinced she ran away because of it. She was mine and now she was gone 😦 After putting up signs there was no sign of her at all. After about a week I started to give up hope and after two weeks I just hoped someone took her in.

Two weeks and one day later at 6 A.M. my dad wakes me up saying guess who’s here?! IT WAS KITTY! She was walking into my room but something was wrong. She was limping and she was filthy, looked soaking wet and so thin. I brought her to the emergency vet clinic and they did x-rays to see what happened. Looked like she got hit by a car and laid on the ground for two weeks until she got the strength to walk home. Her hip bone was fractured, one of her lungs was practically deflated, her intestine was up in her chest, and worst of all – her tail bone was completely detached. The vets tried to get me to do surgery but I couldn’t afford it at the time so I nursed her back to life.

For weeks I hand fed and helped her heal. Eventually she was walking again and one day her tail started to move too! She was healing and I was so happy. There were two problems though; she had a permanent breathing problem from her collapsed lung and Bean. Bean was a kitten so he would always jump on her and try to play with her and it would stress her out. She started to breathe more noticeably loud and heavy with time, even though she was only 4 years old.

Eventually her body just couldn’t handle it anymore and she we had to put her to sleep. That sucked but having her around any longer wouldn’t have been fair to her. I call her my miracle cat because she survived two weeks, hurt and stuck, and came back to me. She was the sweetest little thing and I love her. I’m actually thinking about getting her paw print incorporated into my next tattoo as a sign of strength and to keep fighting and pushing through. Well I was just thinking about her and wanted to share her story cuz it’s very special to me.


When I first was told I had to create a blog I honestly had no idea what I wanted to talk about. I don’t have any particular interests or hobbies that I would considerably like to write about, so I guess I’m just going to talk about myself…

My name is Leticia Barr and I’m just a regular 24 year old girl born and raised on Long Island, New York. My name is different – and I’m half Colombian and half Irish – but you’d never guess I was Colombian with my blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyway — I love the fact that I’m from Long Island and honestly have no idea where, if anywhere, else I would rather be from. I feel like I’m pretty lucky to have been born here (even though it’s one of the most expensive places to live in the country) because it’s a pretty cool little island. I love having everything near by, I love how most of my friends are less than 10-15 minutes away and a nice perk is that NYC is literally an hour away. Like, how many people can say that? I don’t always take advantage of that but I still think that’s awesome .. idk.

I’m from Plainedge which isn’t actually a real town. I actually really like that too because that’s weird 🙂 Plainedge is technically a school district where Farmingdale, Bethpage, Seaford, and N. Massapequa meet. It’s pretty small compared to the surrounding schools, my graduating class was about 270 people, so everybody knew everything about everybody.

My high school days were a lot different from my childhood days and my young adult days were even more different. In this blog, I’m just going to share personal experiences and random stories that mean something to me. Not everyone will care, or even be interested to read, but hey – maybe they will?

I know that one day in the future I’ll be interested to see this; so I guess we’ll just see how it goes.